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Where are all the people?
Love is all they need
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20th-Sep-2008 08:29 am(no subject)
Dani's hawt.
i'm so fucking sick of this.
Why should i ever think that things will get better?
For brief moments they might, but long lasting-things only get worse.
I don't think i have to energy to continue.
19th-Sep-2008 01:01 am - needing to vent.
Dani's hawt.

kiss my ass, dick weed.
I don't really know why i'm pissed off at you. I just am. Lately i feel like you're being a two faced pompous bastard. Honestly, if someone told me i was doing better than you, this would all go away. i know i'm not. but in all fairness, you've been doing my job for 3 years. Actually, probably 4 by now. i've only been only been doing it 2 and a half months. Seeing as the company is doing some crazy ass bullshit, and at the moment, i'm the next candidate other than you for the two available positions. Not that the competition at our store is that intense and well... the job is totally in the bag for you, and i'm only BARELY being considered above the other two... still. 2 and a half months vs. 4 years. im not doing bad. and i know you wouldn't deny it... you think i do a good job too. and you probably respect me more than i respect you. that's probably because i'm jealous on a few levels. and since i'm already jealous on few levels, when you're an ass to me, it really gets under my skin. more than the other managers. Not to mention, any time i do anything nice to patch things up between us- not like im asking it to go back to beofre- but i really hate tension at work- and when i try to be nice, you sometimes take cheap shots, and degrade me. grrrr. Do you know howmuch this frustrates me? do you know why? because everyone has this stupid opinion of me and what i think about you. some of their opinions have some valid basis. but none of them are completely accurate. especially not the ones that i assume you listen to. i really can't stand that tiny woman of yours. i've come to realize that people that are that foreward, and have that much of an understanding of themselves bother me. not to mention, i don't like the tone she took with us. and we didn't like the tone she took with you. and i dont like the tone she takes with me either. actually, i just dont like the tone she takes with anybody. i fidn too many similarities between her and her gorilla friend.
Know why this letter is easy to write? because i know you'll never see it. Oh, and it's 2am, i'm sentenced to the couch again, and you're a very easy target for some pent up anger. especially since it wont reach you.
p.s. i really hate the fact that Bryan coming to our store hasn't effected your hours AT ALL. everyone else is working 2 or 3 days a week, and you're just fine and dandy.


man i miss you. i wish you hadn't moved to lansing. lansing is stupid. soy beans and corn feilds are only cool sometimes. no, straight up, it you like it there and you're happy, then good. but still. i know i didn't see you much when you were home, and honestly if you moved back, we'd probably still have a hard time with that. But it's always reassuring knowing you're just down the street from me, and i don't have to plan a weekend to see you. we can just hang out when we're both not busy. i'm sorry if im not the best friend. i try. i suck and good communication sometimes. but i still love ya, dude.


I feel like we're heading back to what happened before... Except i've been changing everything. i'm doing everything differntly- the way you told me to, and yet you're still fighting me every step of the way. i don't know how to tell you that i feel like you're pushing me to the point of a break down. i don't deal with this stuff well, and when you're so consistant, and demanding about it, it gives me no time to think. i feel like you're looking for excuses to attack me. and i feel like you're accusing me of all this stuff, that happened LAST time, but it's not happening at all this time. i'm not taking sides. in my mind, i have some opinions, but i'm not taking any sides. and i feel like, i have to just sit back and follow whatever you do, because if i dont, you'll say that i'm just taking sides. do i have to agree with you? i'm not the one fighting. and frankly, you're using it as an excuse to fight me as well. and i hate it. it's pushing me away, and i'm feeling less and less comfortable talking to you. i feel like any time you're wrong, i have to drag it out of you. and it's just not worth it. i'm not going to fish for an appology, because the more i do, the less your appology means to me.
i try so very hard for you. and i know you do to. i dont feel like you're respecting my individuality anymore. you can have your own opinions, and see who you want to see, and all i do is make suggestions, or maybe express some dissaproval with some decisions you make. Whereas, if i do something you wouldn't do yourself, i get torn down for it. i love you. you can be so soft and sweet. and other times, you're this other person. someone i don't know and dont want to get to know.
i really love you.
c'monnnnnnnnnn. love me too, pook.
p.s. you do so much right. i promise. it's just that this little bit of wrong makes me panic. a lot. ok? i love you.

stupid teacher,

i'm a dude. you teach a class all about gender roles and perceptions of them in society. Cleary, i'm a transexual. you know it. I know it. Respect it, buddy.
also, please stop pronouncing my last name as Harry. That is clearly not my last name. Your class is painfully boring. if i have to hear you drone on about what love is, as you attempt to inspire us to talk about it, and our little boyfriends and whatnots, i'm going to shit bullets, and shoot you with them. poop that can penetrate your skin. sound good? so please. Grow a pair and talk about somthing other than the boring lives of my peers. i couldn't give a damn about how trashy mc white trash's boyfriend leaves his dirty socks on the bedroom floor.
-Danny 'herrie'

Dear starbucks at 15 and lasher,
I love how sometimes, you just make all my problems go away for a little. Other times you make me feel like shit's shit. but mostly, you distract me from myself. and that's really good.
-The baby.

Dear baristas,
you guys are like therapy. except funnier. i have no idea why it's so theraputic for me to listen to your problems, thoughts, ideas, wants, accomplishments, desires, and everything in between...but it is. Plus, it's nice that now and then, i hear that one of you misses me or something. i feel like nothing at school, and i have such a drive for social interaction, despite how socially awkward i can be- but for whatever reason, most of you dont care, or at least you let me think that you dont care.

Howard Schultz,
'scuse me...
PHASING US OUT?!?!?! You think by doing this you're helping your partners- but what about those of us who can't afford to be an ASM? does that mean we're not serious about our job? does that mean we don't take personal ownership of our store, and our partners? NOO!!!! THAT JUST MEANS THAT I'M IN SCHOOL, AND I JUST BECAME A SHIFT AND I LEARN SLOWLY, AND I'M NOT READY FOR IT YET, BUT IN THE FUTURE I WOULD ABSOLUTLY LOVE THAT POSITION! but instead, it's like a now or never. well, of course, if i can help it, it will be now, despite the fact that i'm no where near ready for it. How about us normal people? I know the economy is bad, but you're learning quickly what works and what doesn't in the stores and the areas. make some more decisions. not ones that are going to hurt your partners that have done nothing but work harder and harder throughout all these insane changes that keep taking place. hopefully, the economy will improve. you've learned that you can't please all the people all the time. and lately, all the people are media. you have loyal customers. and if the economy improves, people will come back. you oversaturated and got a little cocky. hang in there. we're not caribu yet.
and change your mind about this job thing. Promote Mette, fine i dont care. (I do care. i'm a dark shade of green) I just want to keep my current job. okay? i worked really hard to get it. i dont know if im capable of adjusting to THIS change, Howie...
-Stressed at 2505

Dear parent,

i miss you. i do. but you're acting pretty weird lately. or maybe... you're not. maybe we're all just being jerks. im sorry.

Dear other parent,

I feel like i should yell at you for something.
-one of your possibly many offspring.


everybody's wrong. i really dont want to be in the middle of this. no more losing friends for me. i dont really know how to organize what i want to say to you. or even what i want to say to you in the first place. not to mention... im really tired... and the seriousness in my head is dwindling, and crap doesn't make sense. either or- we'll talk tomorrow. i honestly wish you guys weren't upset at each other ever.
-doni horrle.

i was going to write moer letters, but my last one really stopped making sense. i'm super tired.
23rd-Aug-2008 11:58 pm(no subject)
Dani's hawt.
Hey Dani!

I hope you don't get mad when you read this cause I spent the last 30 mins trying to guess the password to your account. Heh heh. Don't worry this isn't malicious or any such thing, if I wanted that I'd just erase your whole hard drive. =P Haha, doesn't it suck having a completely tech savvy girlfriend? (aka geek)

Alright, back to to the meaning of this all. I just wanted to let you know, whenever you read this, that I really appriciate everything you do for me. Whether it be me asking for you to scoot over so I can have a seat on the couch or if it is just to cuddle me for 'one second' that eventually turns into about an hour of play, sexy and genuine cuddle time. Also I appriciate how you always try to help with my driving and my complete in ability to tell my right from my left even though I ALWAYS end up saying things like "I know what I'm doing!", though I really, truely don't. I also love our tickle fights and how you're always able to pin me which only leads to us struggling back and forth for an hour or more. There are so many things I appriciate but there is nothing I appriciate more than these last two... I appriciate you and how much you try.

I love you and think your such a buttmunch. I'm glad we've grown so close, heh, even though sometimes its to the point of where if you leave I feel so lonely. You're my best friend, my lover and the most importaint thing to me. Hell, I adore everything about you, even your damn finger biting! I love you Dani and I miss you... even though your just outside the front door.

Can't wait to see you in a few seconds!
20th-Jul-2008 05:09 pm(no subject)
Dani's hawt.
I hate feeling so far gone.
28th-May-2008 01:22 pm(no subject)
Dani's hawt.
I feel so sick.
I royally screw everything up. All the time.
You would think by now i would have figured out how to avoid things like this. But i really haven't. And that pisses me off the most.
3rd-May-2008 09:17 am - How about some cake?
Dani's hawt.
Despite all the grief...
You make me happy =)

Things will get better. I swear!

P.S. I think you should make me a new layout for my lj. This one hurts my eyes.
Make it a lot like yours! I DO love argyle, and i like the style of yours better- it's easier to read.
I haven't changed mine in like....2 or 3 years?

Alright. Now for the real.
I Finished my first year of college. 3.7 overall. BUT! For the first time in my life, i got all A's last semester! And that English class was riduculously hard. I didn't think there was any possible way i could manage an A, but somehow, i'm awesome =)

My photo teacher was the coolest dude ever. He loved us too! I'm really glad Mary Kate and I got in his class! It was so much fun.

I've realized that in every single class ive taken so far at OCC, there has been at least one person who's totally crazy, and makes the rest of the class feel uncomfortable and awkward. EVERY SINGLE CLASS!! The classes there are usually only about 30 people... so that's just nuts. My classes this semester had several SUPER crazies. Actually....so did my fall semester...
Oh, balls. i can't escape them.
In lighter news, my writing has gotten better!
I mean, you probably can't tell from my LJ or anything, but my comp II class totally showed me that i can write! There were some pretty decent writers in the class, yet i still had one of the highest grades! =) I wish i would have gotten my final paper back. I always love reading the comments teachers give on papers =)
Despite my progress....
I totally hated school =P
but whatever.

so, i totally broke out in hives. they started on the back of my neck, and behind my right ear. then it moved to my elbows, then all over my arms, then my hands, then my feet, then hands and wrists again. Theyre pretty much gone now. It was because of the new medication i was taking. And when i called my doctor to tell her that this was happeneing, she just treated me like i was paranoid and had no idea what i was saying. she said that rashes and hives were not a possible side effect of the Welbutrin, and that it was probably something i ate, and then she just treated me like i had no idea what i was talking about. Of course, right on welbutrin's own website, under possilble side effects they listed skin rashes, and under warnings, they said, in increadibly rare, and few cases, people have broken out in hives. Because its a time reelease drug, simply not taking the medicine wont stop the hives. it can stay in my system up to a week and a half. It's been 3 or 4 days, and the hives are mostly gone.
But the medication was totally helping before the hives started... and now im not taking anything. this sucks. and i can totally feel it coming back again. its like my head is totallly being messed with.
oh well..... ill be starting a new medication as soon as this one has stopped screwing with my system completely.

work is awesome =)
I love my job =)
I'm working on a promotion. and im really excited about it =)
2nd-Apr-2008 11:50 am(no subject)
Dani's hawt.

This is great.
I don't know what to say.

13th-Jan-2008 11:38 pm(no subject)
Dani's hawt.

I thought you'd find this. Now either you'll be really angry... or you'll be ok. I'm hoping for the later. Just know, m'dear, that i love you. And I wanted to supprise you with this. =] I love you, and i miss you. Even though we fight it makes me happy just to be with you. I love you.
- Cake

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